25 Things That you Didn't Know About Men's Nipples

This is one of those subjects that is like the elephant in the room. Everyone realizes that it's there but they're all too afraid to talk about it. Here are 25 things that you didn't know about men's nipples!

#1 Ladies we actually like it when you touch our nipples.

That's right! You're not the only ones with sensitive nipples. We just hide behind our masculinity and pretend like we're insensitive to give off a debonair like confident approach. We also like it when you touch our butts... i'm just saying.. So fondle away chicas!

#2 It really hurts to get them waxed.

Sure there are a lot of guys out there that are huge cry babies when it comes to this. They fear getting their chests waxed and scream like little girls just like Steve Carrell in 40 year old virgin. The nipples are very sensitive though and this part of the procedure actually hurts the most, but most of our prides will not allow us to cry out in agony or shed a tear. That means that all you cosmetology girls out there need to be gentle!

#3 Insecure guys will try to incite nipple pinching contests to win over a girl in a bar scene.

I have a friend that does this every time an attractive girl comes within talking distance. Believe me if you are one of these guys you really should refrain from this type of behavior. Not only are the females not impressed by this childish ape like behavior, but it friggin hurts, so if you don't want to end up with your balls on the wrong side of your friends knee please stop.

#4 Guys care what their boobs look like too.

What!? Did you think you were the only ones looking in the mirror for minutes on end at your boobies? Sure we'd love to trade places with you (because we like to see boobs) but guys worry about what their chests look like too! If a guy hasn't worked out in a while and has been eating too many cheeseburgers man boobies can be a major problem.

#5 The size of our nipples is something we talk about when we're bored or drunk.

This is mostly a drinking conversation, but I was pretty shocked to find out that my brother's college roommate's nipples were smaller than dimes. Anything bigger than a quarter on a dude may warrant a T-shirt at the swimming pool...

#6 Joggers nipple actually affects quite a few men who run.

This is pretty much the worst type of chaffage known to man. It's even worse than the inner thigh type. This is why you see so many shirtless marathon runners, because let's face it bleeding nipples are no fun... ugghhhhhh

#7 In some extremely strange cases of extreme stress men can lactate too!

This has never happened to me, nor do I ever wish it to happen, but apparently men can produce milk too! Who would have thought? I'm crossing my fingers on the hope that I'll never actually do this.

#8 Nipple tassels are not cool on dudes.

There is absolutely no acceptable situation for a man wearing nipple tassels, period. Not even in professional wrestling!

#9 Whip cream bikinis are fine behind close doors.

If you want to get kinky behind closed doors a little bit of whip cream on the nipples is OK, but if a guy pulls the varsity blues move and walks out into the living room wearing a whip cream bikini on your first date then run. This will not end well.. I promise you that.

#10 Some women really dig men's nipples!

I found this one mildly shocking. I didn't know that some chicks liked guys nipples as much men like theirs! I found this article as proof >>>> http://www.experienceproject.com/question-answer/I-Have-A-Nipple-Fetish-And-Love-Playing-With-Mens-Nipples-Are-There-Any-Other-Women-Like-Me-Out-There/431141 <<<<

#11 Men have nipples because when we're conceived we don't have a gender!

That's right. Your nipples came before your penis. Treat them with respect.

#12 A third nipple? What!?

I read a random article on the internet that said that around 12.5% of people have a third nipple. I have no idea if this is true or not, but if two heads are better than one then clearly three nipples are better than two. That means 87.5% of you could have been one nipple cooler than what you are today.

#13 Having a third nipple could get me killed? What!?

Apparently if you lived in the middle ages and had a third nipple you were considered a witch. Supposedly the third nipple was what the devil or an imp would use to suck blood out of the witch. If someone was found to be a witch they were burned at the stake, so that means 12.5% of you would have had to keep your shirt on if you were born a few hundred years ago.

#14 Some people have inverted nipples!

Don't worry it's not dangerous and apparently some people even find it more attractive! However I just found that information from a random website and I have no idea if it holds any water.

#15 Hairy-ola Areola?

The nipple itself does not grow hair on it, but the areola sure does! I definitely have hairy areolas that need regular plucking... tmi?

#16 Just because they are erect doesn't mean we're ready to rock.

Nipples can become hard due to sexual stimulation, but they can also harden due to cold temperatures. This means that we don't have to be horny to have erect nipples!

#17 Do not taunt me!

There is a small number of professional mixed martial arts fighters that grab their nipples before a match to taunt their opponents. I have no idea why they do this, but I'm guessing it makes some people angry.. weird...

#18 No nipples at the gym please!

Apparently in some gyms in Chicago it's considered extremely rude to have your nipples show while you're working out. That means you can wear a sleeveless shirt, but not one that's so sleeveless your man-mammories are exposed.

#19 The shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

I was reading an article on the internet that said the distance between men's nipples is eleven inches. I really don't think this is accurate because everyone is different. A giant dude is going to have nipples that are wider apart than a little tiny dude. Don't believe everything you read on the internet.

#20 You're scared of what!?

The scientific name for the fear of nipples is mammillaphobia. I'm guessing this would be a horrible fear to live with seeing as how EVERYONE has nipples.

#21 Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars....

Males of the rat and mice species have hormones that suppress nipple growth. No lactation for these mammals!

#22 Those very akward moments in life...

During puberty males sometimes have enough estrogen flowing through them that their nipples become puffy and female like. This chemical imbalance eventual evens out, but during this time the nipples can become sensitive and uncomfortable.

#23 Do some more research before you go assuming things!

The person who started this page on facebook clearly has not read this article or any that are like it. Men's nipples aren't entirely useless! Sheesh!

>>> https://www.facebook.com/pages/Your-life-is-as-pointless-as-mammillaphobianipples/165856360147929 <<<

#24 Take care of your nipples dudes!

Nipples can be subject to all kinds of bad things. If you have a persistent itch, pain, or just aren't comfortable with your nipples consult your doctor immediately! Don't be afraid or ashamed! Your nipples need you!

#25 Never underestimate the power of a Man's nipples!

Ladies understand that you may be captivated and entertained by nipples, but they are powerful and all knowing beings that must be respected. Men please understand that with the great power of your nipples comes great nipple responsibilities. Use your nipples wisely!